All Aboard: “Some
parents say it is toy guns that make boys warlike. But give a boy a
rubber duck and he will seize its neck like the butt of a pistol and
shout “Bang!”” – George F. Will quotes (American editor and news commentator b.1941)
Tickets Please:
As mentioned in my last Rails from the Rails, on a recent train trip to
Montreal I came across a couple of interesting articles. The first,
which I have already written about, concerned itself with some of the
culinary niceties of Toronto. This installment uses a different article
from Maclean’s magazine as a starting point for some of my thoughts on
boyhood.
I nearly passed on the
magazine as it had as its cover a large picture of one US presidential
hopeful Barack Obama. It seems even in Canada we get inundated with
American politics. However, a sub-headline caught my attention: Why
Boys Need Less School And More Fighting. Now this sounded interesting.
The article is an
interview in which the writer, Kate Fillion, asks questions of child
development expert Leonard Sax. It is a fairly long interview and I
will attempt to share with you some of the more interesting points as
well as give you my take on them.
Sax suggests that
there is a problem with how boys are performing in school. Whether this
is accurate or not is debatable. I think it is true. One of the causes
he proposes for this is interesting. He suggests part of the problem is
that in early childhood education there has been acceleration in the
onset of instructional curriculum. When I was a kid, kindergarten was
mostly crafts and games and stories and songs. Now they are learning
reading, writing, and arithmetic. I am no child education expert, but I
would prefer it if my children were doing kindergarten the old way. I
can see where competing in the new global marketplace might require
earlier education, but to me it is less than ideal.
Sax goes on to talk
about how boys, generally speaking, are less ready for school at
earlier ages than girls are. My experience would leave me with the same
conclusion. Generally speaking, my daughters and nieces have appeared
more ready for school and learning at an early age then my son and
nephews. There isn’t any concrete science there, just my observations.
My son is not interested in learning about colours. Not until I relate
it to the colour of superhero’s costumes, that is. I will ask him the
colour of a pickle and he will either guess wrong or respond “I don’t
know.” But if I tell him the pickle is the same colour as The Hulk he
quickly tells me it must be green. Words and reading do not get him
really excited either. He’d rather wrestle or have a pillow fight. Fair
enough, that is a type of learning too.
Sax is also a strong
advocate for single-sex education. He makes some strong points in
favour of boys and girls being more successful in same-gender
classrooms. I have heard this before. I was surprised to read that he
believes that it is also beneficial socially and emotionally for
children. Again, I am no expert but I like the idea. If there was the
opportunity for my children to go to school and participate in
single-sex education I would try it. I am much more satisfied with my
girls playing in girls-only sports leagues. And it seems to me that
most of their problems at school with other students involve boys.
Perhaps the most
controversial aspect of the interview can be summed up in the following
quote by Sax: “Prohibiting children from playing with toy swords and
guns does not decrease the likelihood of any bad outcome. It
accomplishes no useful end.” He goes on to refer to zero-tolerance
policies in schools as zero-intelligence policies. Strong words! For
what it is worth, I tend to concur with his line of thinking. I would
love for all of you to be able to watch the children and teachers’
faces when I talk at schools. One of the things I mention to them is
that I get paid to hit people (break it down people, that is what I
do). The children’s faces beam. Many of the teachers scowl. I go on to
explain that there is an appropriate time and place for me to hit
people; on the field. I go on to explain that in other places it is
entirely inappropriate. I feel strongly about this. I do not think it
is helpful to suggest to young boys that rough play is wrong. I do
however believe it is my responsibility to teach my son the appropriate
times and venues for such behaviour. He knows that play fighting with
dad, his uncles, or his cousins are almost always fair game. He also
knows he better not hit his sisters, aunts, or his mother, or any
stranger for that matter, unless they encourage it in a playful manner.
And guess what? He is very good at discerning the proper time and place
to roughhouse. And that is what life is like. I want him to be able to
check other boys on the hockey ice and have fun doing it. But also
understand that bullying other kids in the schoolyard is unacceptable.
At any rate, it was an
interesting article and as the father of a boy and the uncle to several
nephews I can always benefit from such information. And I think this
particular expert is on to something.
I must go. My son has
just finished watching a video about some ninja-turtles and I’m sure he
will desire to try out some new martial arts moves. And I feel like the
luckiest guy on the planet because I happen to be the only animated
target he can practice on. And I’ve got a few moves myself!
Last Stop:
One of the sports my girls play is ringette. It is a hockey-like game
and it is played primarily by girls. Mike O’Shea, a North Bay native,
was quick to inform that it was invented in his hometown. If you want
to verify this claim or learn more about this sport than Rigette
Canada’s website is one place you could start (www.ringette.ca).
